Full Tilt at Full Tilt

I've suffered my biggest bad beat so far, I lost around 75% of my Full Tilt bankroll yesterday and today, most of it today. I was playing a badly this morning, and a headache due to the weather didn't help. I started deviating from my game-plan left and right, seeing opportunities when odds were against me. I guess I wanted to learn to play aggressively I forced myself into bad situations.

I went on tilt, and started playing even worse. I was thinking my open mindedness would show me big opportunities, it instead made me blind on the reality of my odds.

Earlier tonight, I got myself into a table where I decided to try and backtrack my play. I started winning big pots again, and I mentioned to a player who congratulated me that I was still trying to recover from my tilt. She said maybe she'd be my lucky charm, and so far she was, but I still had around 50% of my bankroll to recover.

Then she mentioned something that shoved me back in reality, she said she lost 3 million in just two hands before. Compared to that, my losses were a pittance.

I started playing better, and I actually got a some of my best and most challenging wins during that session. Another player mentioned that we had a good table right there, and I had to agree. The competition was tough, but everyone was supportive regardless if they won or lost. We just had a lot of serious poker fun.

My luck ran out eventually, and my last hand culminated in my losing what I gained from my good run as well as my buy-in (placing me where I am now, at around 75% of my bankroll when the weekend started). Even so, I don't feel bad. I played with great players, I played great hands, and when you think about it, all I lost is play-money.

I'm glad I ran into that bunch. I know I'll get that bankroll back, I've rebuilt my bankroll from scratch several times already, and each time it's always better than the last.

I post about this experience now to preserve it, to preserve the bad beat, and to preserve the knowledge that... well... it happens, and that I know that I will bounce back from this eventually.

Those peeps at the table don't know me, and they'll probably never be able to read this post. Regardless, they made my poker day.

Thanks guys.